


it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

by lunarpiscean



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Post-Timeskip, Regret, but no graphic depiction, happy ending for kitashin, male reader - Freeform, sad ending for sadgwara, semi nsfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:15:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29060397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarpiscean/pseuds/lunarpiscean
Summary: y/n and shinsuke are mature enough to realize they’re both adults with sexual needs - something the other can’t always fulfill when they’re away from each other. hence, the open relationship. under one circumstance: there should be no feelings involved. just strings of meaningless sex to fill the gap until they’re reunited again.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Reader, Semi Eita & Reader, Sugawara Koushi/Reader
Kudos: 3





	it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

it wasn’t supposed to be like this. considering the long distance nature of their relationship, shinsuke and y/n has decided on an open relationship. 

the two of them are mature enough to realize they’re both adults with sexual needs - something the other can’t always fulfill when they’re away from each other. hence, the open relationship. under one circumstance: there should be no feelings involved. just strings of meaningless sex to fill the gap until they’re reunited again.

the two years they’ve had this agreement, y/n always kept his desires at bay. he managed seventeen years without it, what’s a few months without sex? besides, he always brought along his toys in case an urge appears. that has kept him satisfied so far.

so the first time he had sex with someone who isn’t his husband - why did it have to be him, of all people? countless men and women that he nearly brought back to his hotel on the road, rejected at the last moment when he thought of shinsuke, and how they’ll never compare to him.

of all the people that could’ve brought him back to their apartment, why _him?_ why sugawara koushi, the boy he was briefly in love with in high school? why sugawara koushi, the boy he tossed aside for his current husband? sugawara koushi, the boy who refused to come to his wedding because the silver haired boy was still in love with him. sugawara koushi, the boy that could have been.

y/n stared at the ceiling of sugawara’s bedroom, thoughts racing everywhere. _how would shin react if he found out? would he be angry, furious? what if he called for a divorce? what if suga-san still has feelings for me?_

all the while next to him, the older man was snoring softly, oblivious to his thoughts. y/n turned around to face his partner for the night. he seemed so peaceful, the soft moonlight illuminating features. his soft silver hair almost seemed like it was glowing.

as if on instinct, the younger man tucked a strand of hair away from sugawara’s face. he seemed angel-like. which felt almost impossible, considering the act they did earlier. _shit, what if_ i _was the one who still have feelings for him?_

he shook that thought away. he chose shinsuke because he only had feelings towards him. his heart was made for him, and him only. when y/n made it clear he was in love with shinsuke, he was certain that any feelings he had for sugawara was strictly platonic. 

shinsuke was everything he needed, everything he wanted, and some more. but what if…?

y/n tried to distract his mind by looking at his surroundings, studying sugawara’s bedroom. a simple wall calendar hung next to his desk. there were plants, so many plants. considering sugawara’s nurturing nature, he wasn’t all too surprised. 

he scanned the walls when a framed picture caught his attention. it was sugawara and a group of kids. _kids?_ what did he say his profession was again? he tried to remember their conversation earlier.

it was after his concert. his band hasn’t performed in miyagi in awhile, so one of his bandmate, semi eita, a miyagi native, brought them to a bar he used to frequent when he still lived there. it was a bright, lively bar.

he and his bandmates shared light hearted banters, until y/n noticed a silver haired man drinking alone in the corner. it wasn’t long until eita took notice. a smirk formed in his face.

’that’s sugawara koushi, i believe he was karasuno’s setter back in the days. you know him?’ _asshole._ although the two weren’t that close back then, eita knew of his history with sugawara. curse suna rintaro and his inability to shut up.

y/n stood up, and looked at his bandmates. ‘don’t wait for me,’ he told them. eita gave him a grin while cj, his newer bandmate, gave him a confused look. for all they know, their bandmate was just hitting on a random stranger.

to say sugawara was surprised to see him was an understatement. this bar was his sanctuary, his escape from his daily routine. seeing a ghost from his past was the last thing he expected.

it took the two men a while to warm up, but when they did, it was like they never distanced in the first place. y/n noted how sugawara’s eyes shone when he talked about his job, how much he loves his students even if they’re such a hassle sometimes. or how his eyebrows raised in amazement when he told the older man about his own career.

‘i guess i’ve heard from the other karasuno kids just how successful your band was, but i didn’t realize just how big it is.’ sugawara said with a smile. his eyes met y/n's for a second, before he averted his gaze shyly. suddenly his face soured.

y/n furrowed his eyebrows and followed the direction of the older man’s gaze. he was staring at his wedding ring. oh. before he could think of the risks, he immediately blurted out his arrangement with shinsuke, how they have an open relationship to feed their desires. something changed in sugawara.

the next thing y/n knew, the two were making out on the back of a cab, the hallway of sugawara’s apartment, the younger pinned against the door as the older fumbled for his keys. they only broke contact when sugawara threw him to his bed, eyes darkened with lust.

‘fuck,’ the silver haired man said through his pants. ‘i’ve been waiting so long for this.’

what happened next was a blur. now that he’s less intoxicated, y/n silently cursed himself for drinking too much. so much for having no feelings involved. he slowly got up to dress himself.

when he turned around to face his former lover one last time, his breath hitched. he marveled at the marks he left on the older man. scratch marks decorated his bare back, his neck and shoulders were colored by dark red spots. his could have been.

_stop. shinsuke’s waiting for you at home, do you really want to leave it all for the past?_ and with that thought, y/n silently left sugawara’s apartment, hand rubbing his wedding ring. and this time, he did not look back.

**Author's Note:**

> my second haikyuu!! fic, hope you enjoyed it. i was originally writing a kita/male reader engagement fic, not sure how i ended up writing this instead.
> 
> come chat w on twitter, my @ is ladangkLta


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